


Within The Ice

by ria213



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-10
Updated: 2018-01-10
Packaged: 2019-03-02 16:00:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13321626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ria213/pseuds/ria213
Summary: The last thing steve remembered, was drowining. The feel of his body fighting against him as pain unlike any other took over. The first thing he saw, was a vally that felt unlike any he'd ever experienced before. But the most important thing of all? His supposed dead friend lying not even six feet in front of him. At that point, he didn't even care what happened, he just wanted Bucky.





	Within The Ice

The last thing Steve remembered after hitting the ice, had been panic. The force from the crash had been stunning, sadly that was all it was. Disorientation quickly settled upon him after that, yet even then his senses were rapidly working themselves out. The serum was doing it's job and Steve couldn't of been more put off by it. All of this couldn't of taken more then five, ten minutes tops. Though it was more then long enough to leave him with no way of escaping.

All he could see was black water rising with every passing second. The water being so cold that he felt the sensation of being stabbed all over his body. For the first time in his life, Steve regretted ever getting the serum. What had once helped him in every time of need, was now working against him in the worst possible way. He should of been knocked out or dead from the impact! instead he was awake and very much aware. What should of put him into the last stages of hypothermia, was instead causing stabbing cold pains all over his body.

The serum was fighting tooth and nail to keep him alive and it was physical agony. There was no light except for the red emergency backups, making the rising cold water even more sinister as it creeped closer and closer to his face. Being strapped to a chair didn't exactly help with that either. While the serum may have been keeping him awake and conscious, it didn't exactly help with the soul sucking cold. Steve had no knife, he lost it early on during the mission and his body was to busy shaking to even try braking free from their hold. He had no choice but to watch that red black water make its way closer to him.

Panic set in hard after that.

He's not ashamed of the fact that he had cried, nor of the fact that he shouted until he couldn't even managed a whisper. He was going to die and it would not be the quick death he had hopped for. But the physical act of drowning had been terrifying. For once his head had been submerged he tried his hardest to hold his breath no matter how futile it seemed. He lasted twenty-five minutes before he cracked, and oh god was it horrible. No matter how many times he would breath in the water, the serum would act up and force it out.

Steve didn't even have the presence of mind to think about how much he was growing to hate it. Mostly because he was to busy dealing with the panic and pain of drowning over and over again. It felt like hours before he was finally able to surrender to sweet darkness. The feeling was almost like being split between asleep and semi consciousness. He was stuck in limbo and had no problem staying there. Hell he didn't even want to leave there if it meant not feeling that pain ever again.

Time meant nothing in that sweet, sweet place of bliss and darkness. Until suddenly it was like he was being yanked by a hook, bringing a stabbing pain to his eyes as piercing bright light surround him. At first Steve had just laid there, his whole body in pain as shock filtered through him. Because by god did he hurt, his whole body hurt like no sickness ever before. Breathing had been a chore for a good couple minutes because his body was so stiff. Twitching even just his pinky was like feeling a branding iron all over.

The only thing he could do was blink, though the blinding lights weren't very comfortable either. Groaning Steve carefully pushed himself up, ignoring the pain the movements caused as he took a look around. Where ever the fuck he was, it sure as hell wasn't the Valkyrie. Taking deep breaths, he focused on his surroundings, taking in the valley he found himself in. The trees circling him were tall, so fucking tall and thick that he must be somewhere deep in the woods. There were mountains far off to the east and a clear blue river to the west, the sky was clear and the sun was bright.

It was the most beautiful sight he had ever seen. The sound of a groan to his right brought him up quick, his head whipping so fast that it brought a sharp flare pain. Something that was instantly ignored as the sight before him clicked. There right in front of him laid Bucky! grunting, Steve pushed his abused body with everything he had. He had to get to him, had to make sure that he was okay. In fact he was so focused on reaching him, that he didn't even notice the fact that he was dressed differently. Nor did he even notice the shining knew arm that was newly connected to Bucky's body.

Kneeling down next to him, Steve couldn't help but just stare. Surely he was dead right? If Bucky was here then Surely that meant he had finally died too. Silently, Steve gently caressed Bucky's hair. It was longer then he remembered, reaching just below his ears. Satisfied with his observations, Steve gently guided his hand lower. Quietly stroking the bags under Bucky's eyes while taking in each and every new thing he could about him. It was then that he was quick to notice the startling changes.

Steve could only look in abstract horror at the metal arm that appeared to be seared onto his best friends arm. Since Bucky wasn't wearing anything but pants, it was almost hard to believe that he missed this. Glancing down, Steve immediately started to analyze all the changes that he'd missed before. What was quick to see had been that Buck had filled out even more, his body almost reaching his own in muscle. Another thing that popped out, had been the amount of scars that seemed to find home on his friend. Though it looked like even those were slowly disappearing as time went on.

It was almost physically painful to see each new difference on him, because that meant that both he and Bucky weren't dead. The dead didn't change after all, of that he was certain. So that meant that he was still stuck in that plane, frozen in time and most importantly, alive. Glancing down, he held back his grief, because it also meant that Bucky was alive somewhere. His best friend was alive somewhere and from the looks of it, he was being tortured and experimented on. It also meant that somewhere out there he was frozen, or put into a sleep so deep it was almost like death.

Laying down Steve faced Bucky, making sure that when he did so they were both eye to eye. In the grand scheme of things, nothing else mattered because as long as Buck was here he wasn't there. He was so far down the rabbit hole that pain of whatever they were doing could no longer touch him. As long as he was here, Steve could protect him and offer him whatever comfort he could. It would do, hell it had to do, because he sure as hell wasn't going anywhere anytime soon.

If ever.

Sighing Steve gently grabbed Bucky's hand and closed his eyes. Steve's body was killing him, and he was so fucking exhausted that he could sleep for days. He could afford to get some shut eye, it wasn't like they were going anywhere anytime soon anyway. Steve was asleep almost instantly.

* * *

BUCKY POV

 The asset awoke to the smell of pines with just the hint of spices and apples. It was a smell that seemed to touch it to it's very core, bringing forth the sensations of warmth and a weird fluttering feeling in its chest. The asset felt for the very first time that it was safe, like whatever's been missing since it can remember has finally been returned. Maybe this was its award? It has been good to its masters, done all that they have asked and even impressed them with its superior training. A sudden movement to the assets side had it immediately up and in a defensive position. Eyes open and clear as it took in its surroundings.

Quickly, it realized that it was no longer in the lab, nor any of the training facilities. Looking down, the asset froze at the sight. In front of it was a man, hair shining like the sun though his skin seemed to give off a slight glow as well. The being was of optimal physical condition, he was definitely a possible threat. Training would have it to kill him while he was vulnerable. Yet when the asset tried to move, its body would not comply. Instead it's body choose to kneel beside him, carefully and thoroughly committing its features to memory.

There was a tugging within its very being, like whoever this person was they were important. This was a being that it could never harm, this was a being it should never forget. With Startling realization, The asset realized that this person was the reason why it felt whole once more. The man before it is the reason why the asset felt that wonderful warmth, that addicting fluttering that even now did not abate. How could it have ever forgotten such a being? Surely it must have known him from before whatever happened?

"Mmm," eyes shooting down, the Asset froze once more as eyes as blue as the sky opened up. They were gentle, caring and loving, they were an open book. Whoever this being was, they did not hide anything. Which is why it was shocked to see that the man seemed genuinely happy to see it. The man slowly pushed himself up, the movement was smooth and graceful. Not once did he stop smiling, "Bucky, oh god Buck you have no idea how good it is to see you."

Not knowing what to do and feeling suddenly very overwhelmed, the Asset said the first thing that came to mind. "Who the hell is Bucky?" the Asset could only watch helplessly as the mans smile left his face. Something which felt inherently wrong, yet the Asset had no idea of how to fix. This beautiful man before him should always be smiling. Saying nothing, the Asset watched carefully as the man slowly sat up, it watched as one hand reached up to settle softly against its chest.

"You are Bucky," he said, eyes filling with grief and pain while the Asset tried to come to terms with what the man had revealed. "Your full name is James Buchanan Barns, I've known you my whole life Buck. You took care of me when I was smaller, you watched my back when I was bigger." He stated, voice gaining more volume even as the tone staid gentle. His eyes on the other hand were filled with determination and fondness. "We lived together in Brooklyn, we were always together. We haven't parted until the war and even then I found you. They took you from me but I got you back Buck, I got you back."

Bucky, because apparently it's name was Bucky, could only watch as emotions filled the others eyes. Far to many to count yet all of them meant for him. "We were together again for four maybe five years before something happened." Bucky watched as the mans eyes glistened even though no tears fell. A sense of dread abruptly made its way through its body while pain gathered within its head.

"What happened?" Bucky said nothing as it watched a singer tear fall from the mans eye. Grief and pain that the Asset never wanted to feel shone at him from blue depths.

"You fell." He whispered, eyes suddenly glazing over as he continued on. "We were on a train, it was a mission in order to retrieve Zola, but something went wrong. While we were fighting my shield got knocked out of my hand and I was sent flying. You were quick on your feet though and managed to pick it up and fire off a couple of shots until I could get back up." He paused, eyes slowly coming back to look at him.

The look that swelled within them sent a pain through Bucky's chest unlike anything it could ever remember. Even training and programming didn't effect it as much as a simple look from this man could. "It all happened so fast, one minute you were standing in front of me, shielding me. Then the next you were flying out of the train, barely holding onto the rail. God Buck you had no idea how scared I was, all I could think of was getting to you. After I was able to deal with the shooter I tried, dear god Bucky I tried! But Just as I was able to get to you the rail it... it... it broke!" He sobs, Bucky could do nothing as the beautiful man before broke down. The tears that were once being held back came forth with a vengeance.

"I couldn't do anything but watch! I couldn't save you Bucky, even now I still hear your screams as you fell! I lost you all over again only that time it was worse because I thought you were dead! But now that I know your not, Jesus... to know that I left you there?" The Asset said nothing, panic and confusion making it unable to decide what to do. The man before him had no reason for lying, and from the emotional responses it was obvious the man genuinely knew him. Him. He was a him, not a it.

His name was Bucky, his name was James, god how could he have forgotten? A sudden warmth on his cheek brought him back, the pain in his head only growing as the man in front of him gazed at him. "I left you... even if I didn't know it, I left you and now you don't even know who I am anymore do you?" The grief in his voice was killing him, this man was literally killing him.

"I know that you make me feel warmth, I know that the presence you have makes my chest flutter. I know that I feel safe with you... but I also know that I don't know you." He states, because right now he doesn't, at least not yet. Though if what this man said is true, then that meant that someone took his memories of him away. Hell he doesn't even know the guys name and already he felt like he was betraying his masters. What would they say if they saw this? would they take him away? would they order him to kill the other?

The dread spreads as the realization that yes, yes they would make him kill this man. Then they would put him back in that horrible chair, back to that horrible room where they repeat words over and over again. He doesn't want to forget this man again! he didn't want to lose this feeling.

"Is that what I make you feel Buck? I make you feel happy?" He asks, eyes still filled with sorrow though now a glimmer of determination shines through. Not knowing what to say, Bucky just nods. When in doubt keep it simple, and if that warm feeling is happiness then he never wanted to let It go. Cautiously, Bucky's hand comes up to cover the mans own. Which had slid down to rest upon his shoulder, that small action was apparently enough to garner a smile.

"What's your name?" He blurts out, his head feeling like it was going to burst and needing a distraction no matter how small it was. But by god did it hurt, he just wanted it to go away. That wasn't to much to ask for was it? but he also felt like if he heard this mans name, then all of this would go away. Bucky needed to know.

"Steve... Steve Rogers." The smile that accompanied that confession was blinding, though not enough to drown out the sudden influx of memories that came out of no where. Bucky had no idea what happened after that, lost as he was in the memories that insistently invaded his mind. Everything that was taken away were now coming back to the forefront. A panicked voice would sometimes break through the mess, always saying the same thing but it was like Bucky heard it over the course of decades. "Bu...Buc... Buck...! Bucky!"

 **Stevie**...

* * *

STEVE POV

 Steve panicked as he watched Bucky collapse to the ground. Dreading at the sight as his best friend spasmed as if he were having a seizure. He didn't know what to do! Does he hold him down? Is he not supposed to touch him? He'd never been on the opposite side of this spectrum before. Deciding to just hold him down so he doesn't hurt himself anymore then he already has, Steve prays for it to pass soon.

"Shh, Shh its okay Buck I'm here, I'm right here. God I'm so sorry Bucky, I don't know what to do! Shh... Shh..." After what must have been hours, because god it felt so long, the spasms started to abate. Relief swept through him like a tidal wave, as the final shudder faded. Even still Steve did not stop his cooing, its not like he could do much of anything anyway. At least this way he didn't feel completely useless. "That's good Bucky... your doing so much better now... your safe here with me."

Silence followed shortly after, only Steve's encouraging words breaking it every now and then. Until a small whisper sounded from the man below him.

"Stevie?"


End file.
